Dick B. Discusses What Every 12-Step Newcomer Should Learn
from the Start on the July 22, 2013, episode of the "Christian Recovery
Radio with Dick B." show
On
Dick B.
© 2013
Anonymous. All rights reserved
You Can Hear Dick B. Discuss This Topic Right Now
______________________________________________________________________________
You
may hear Dick B. discuss what every 12-Step newcomer should learn from the
start on the July 22, 2013, episode of the "Christian Recovery Radio with
Dick B." show here:
or here:
Episodes of the "Christian Recovery Radio with Dick B." show are archived at:
Introduction
My son Ken and I will soon be presenting
and speaking at three soon-to-be-held, different sets of Alcoholics Anonymous
history and Christian Recovery Movement conferences. And one of the major
topics will be the newcomer.
Somehow, many an alcoholic or
addict newcomer comes into the recovery rooms bewildered, troubled, fearful,
and forgetful. And then it's as if he is thrown to the lions.
Yes, he's given a hug, a cup of coffee, a Big Book, a phone number to
call, and a hearty welcome. But he is very likely to leave any kind of a meeting
still wondering what kind of a fellowship he is entering. Most likely, he won't
hear about the Big Book, the 12 Steps, God, A.A.'s origins, A.A.'s varied
approaches to recovery through the years, sponsorship, the purpose of
meetings, or what to do when he is alone, ashamed, frightened, depressed,
woozy, and tempted to drink.
If the newcomer
is not given an orientation, an indoctrination, or a Beginner's meeting with specific
information and suggestions, he may soon drift into the pool of confused,
uninformed, and whining masses that abound in the rooms but who pay very little
attention to him. And they possibly pay lots of attention to
"relationships," to hand-me-down opinions and suggestions, to the
importance of never missing a meeting, and the appropriate message: "Don't drink
or use, no matter what." And yet many of these return to drinking.
The newcomer
deserves better. His chances of permanent recovery could be better. His
qualification to help somebody else can be improved. Both his mentor or guide
or sponsor, and the newcomer himself, need to be lifted up, taught,
guided, and aggressively qualifying themselves to be helped and to help others.
And the newcomer will be the topic tonight.
Synopsis
Subjects Every A.A. or Other 12-Step
Newcomer Should Learn from the Start
By Dick B.
© 2013 Anonymous. All rights reserved
Catching
the Newcomer as He Enters the Rooms, No Matter How He Enters
There are many ways a newcomer enters or might enter
recovery in a 12-Step program such as Alcoholics Anonymous. It could be in a
jail or prison. Or by referral from a physician, psychiatrist, social worker,
clergyman, family member, friend, counselor, therapist, interventionist, detox,
treatment program, hospital, judge, probation officer, sober living house,
rescue mission, Salvation Army program, or some other way. Any one of these
ports of entry can and should concern itself with informing the newcomer from
the start instead of condoning “relationships,” ignoring self-centered whining,
encouraging mere attendance at meetings, fostering uninformed listening, providing
a forum for opinionated talkers, settling for mere court card-signing, and handing
down “authoritative” statements.
Short-changing
the Newcomer
In many ways today, a newcomer’s first contact, first
sponsor, first counselor, first group, first meeting, first conference, etc., often
simply doesn’t have a “to do” list. Therefore, the newcomer usually gets
short-changed by hearing rumors and guesses and opinions from 12-Step members
and other people sharing in the rooms of the various 12-Step programs such as
A.A. He also doesn’t usually have experienced or studied people to guide him.
In early A.A.—particularly as seen in A.A.’s first group, “Akron Number One”—newcomers
were taught, in large part, by highly educated non-alcoholic people who could
organize and conduct a meeting, and who could teach—from the Bible, about
prayer, about Quiet Time, about literature, and about surrenders. Today, the
newcomer should attend an informative and instructive Beginner’s Meeting or
Orientation Meeting that will launch him on the path to recovery by knowing his
fellowship.
Some
Real Newcomer Needs Today
Newcomers today need mentors or sponsors who are well-prepared
before they instruct. In addition, the newcomer needs an orientation meeting;
and a beginner’s meeting (whether in treatment, in a series of meetings, from a
counselor, from an intervention, or even from speakers). Far too often, an
ill-prepared, though well-intentioned guide or sponsor doesn’t explain important
points such as:
1. Why and
for what reason (if any) “meetings” have assumed such importance in today’s
recovery scene and how they contrast with the simplicity of “old school” A.A.;
2. What
to look for in the meetings—namely listening to those who talk about or teach;
e.g.:
a. The 12
Steps;
b. The Big
Book;
c. Conference-approved
literature; and
d. God;
3. Why so
little organization exists in meeting content versus what could be accomplished;
4. Why he
should learn key points about A.A. history; e.g.:
a. How
the first three AAs (cofounders Bill W. and Dr. Bob, and A.A. #3 Bill D.) got
sober;
b. What
the original Akron A.A. Group Number One—a
Christian Fellowship program--did;
c. What
the supposed “Six Steps” story is all about and how the content is unsettled,
varied, and of little importance;
d. What
the “Four Absolutes” are; and how they were formerly used as “yardsticks” and
in inventories;
e. What A.A.’s
cofounders brought to the table from their younger days and upbringing;
f. Why the
Big Book has personal stories—the fact that most were removed in later
editions, and the importance of restoring them to study and view today;
g. What
the personal First Edition 1939 stories can teach;
h. Where
the 12 Steps came from—the 3 identified sources and other influences;
i.
The importance of the first (1939) edition
of the Big Book; and the value and economy in using Alcoholics Anonymous The Original 1939 Edition, With a 23-Page
Introduction by Dick B., published by Dover Publications, Inc.
j.
Who provided what to the A.A. program
and at what time;
k. Where
the Bible, the Oxford Group, Quiet Time, a vital religious experience, Dr.
William Silkworth, Rev. Samuel Shoemaker, Dr. Carl Jung, Professor William James,
surrender, and conversion fit in the picture;
l.
The significance of the Four Absolutes today;
m. The
relevance, if any, of prayer and meditation, “powerless,” “higher
power,” self-made religion, half-baked prayers, nonsense gods, and changes in
the Steps and Big Book in 1939;
5. Whether
“an informed group conscience,” a “loving God as He may express Himself in a
Group conscience,” and so-called “spirituality” do or do not make up a useful
element of recovery;
6. What
is the meaning and purpose of such expressions as “spiritual, but not
religious”;
7. What
forms of behavior have no place in recovery meetings—things like outbursts,
criticisms, intolerance, vulgarity, intimidation, and “governance”; and
8. Where
all the foregoing suggestions do or do not produce a rewarding result for the
newcomer.
The
Temptation Problems
Today’s recovery mentors or sponsors need to be aware that temptation
is a major trap. And that it is well explained in the first chapter of the Book
of James, which was a favorite of early AAs. Expressions like “Don’t go to
slippery places or hang out with slippery people” are perhaps related to the
“old ideas” warned about in the Book of James. AAs often don’t like to give up.
But there are endless temptations, based on the offers of liquor, the presence
of drug dealers, pressure from friends and peers, parties, sports events, spontaneous
urges, and the little-understood “too hungry, angry, lonely, or tired.” My own
experience with these last four is that loneliness, fear, and invitations to
join old drinking and using places and friends are directly related to
isolation and temptation. And they warrant caution.
Sponsorship
and Working With Others
Then, someone needs to teach the newcomer what he should
look for in, and receive from, a sponsor. And to provide an introduction to
what a sponsor should do with the newcomer—to prepare the newcomer for
effectively helping others. The absolute necessity for helping others, and
working with others, and starting sponsorship as soon as possible has long been
vital.
The
Importance of Communicating and Avoiding Isolation
Someone needs to be teaching the newcomer the importance of
communication—phone calls, “the meeting after the meeting,” “coming early and
leaving late,” exchanging names and numbers, giving rides and riding with
others, reaching out to others in meetings, and fellowshipping with like-minded
abstainers.
The
Frequent Mention of God (Creator) in Today’s Conference-approved Literature
And someone needs to be informing the newcomer of the place
“God” occupies in the Big Book, where that word occurs 235 times in pages 1-164
of the current (fourth—2001) edition.
The
Growing Trend or Risk in Ignoring God and Talking about “Nonsense gods”
Someone needs to be teaching newcomers that there is a big
difference between: (1) the recent emphasis in some quarters of the recovery
scene which assert that it is acceptable to believe in “nothing at all” as “the
Solution” to becoming and staying clean and sober; and (2) the
highly-successful, early Akron A.A. program which stressed dependence upon,
reliance upon, and prayer to the Creator as “the Solution” (See page 25 of the
4th edition of Alcoholics Anonymous
for the Big Book answer to the problem
of how to recover from alcoholism and drug addiction.)
The first emphasis just mentioned—the absurd but suggested
reliance on “Somebody,” a light bulb, or “nothing at all”—is being seen more
and more often in modern recovery writings and secular 12 Step trends. The
second emphasis—for which Alcoholics Anonymous claims a 75% success rate among
“seemingly-hopeless,” “medically-incurable, “last-gasp-case,” “real” alcoholics
in the current edition of the Big Book—is seen with frequency in A.A. General
Service Conference-approved literature such as:
1. Alcoholics Anonymous [“the
Big Book”—particularly in the “Personal Stories section of the original (1939)
edition];
2. The Co-Founders of Alcoholics Anonymous pamphlet
(Item # P-53);
3. Alcoholics Anonymous Comes of Age;
4. DR. BOB and the Good Oldtimers; and
5. ‘Pass It On.’
What
God Can Do For Us If We Seek Him
The newcomer misses the real spiritual elements of early
A.A. when he doesn’t learn, and isn’t armed with facts about, how God’s
forgiveness, guidance, love, power, healing, assured abundant and everlasting
life, and help played a major role in helping the early A.A. pioneers—who set
the standard for success in recovery. That standard was:--get well, stay well,
and seek a life of prosperity and health, relying on God.
The
Basic Ideas for A.A. and the Steps Came From the Efforts, Studies, and
Teachings from the Bible
Informed mentors or sponsors need to share with newcomers why
early AAs placed particular emphasis on studying the Bible itself—in
particular, the Book of James, Jesus’s Sermon on the Mount (Matthew chapters
5-7), and 1 Corinthians 13--as stated on page 13 of the A.A. General Service
Conference-approved pamphlet The
Co-Founders of Alcoholics Anonymous: Biographical Sketches: Their Last Major
Talks.
The Book of James was the
favorite among early AAs. Both A.A. cofounders Bill and Dr. Bob stated that
Jesus’s Sermon on the Mount contained the spiritual philosophy of A.A. And Dr.
Bob strongly emphasized reading Henry Drummond’s The Greatest Thing in the World—a study of 1 Corinthians 13.
All of this Bible emphasis with great success before there
were any Twelve Steps, Twelve Traditions, Big Books, war stories, or meetings
like those we know today.
Showing
the Newcomer the Traps to Avoid and the Privileges He or She Have
Today’s mentors or sponsors need to inform newcomers that no
one can learn too much about such points as:
1. The
fact that no 12 Step program has any bosses, governors, presidents, rule-makers,
sanctions, punishments, or evictions;
2. Why
leaders are, at best, called servants
3. The
fact that any individual or group or meeting has the freedom to read what they
wish, believe what they wish, say what they wish, and use whatever literature
will be helpful for recovery so long as:
a. A
distinction is made between A.A. General Service Conference-approved
literature, and all other literature (like that which early AAs have long read
freely); and
b. Objections
or disputes are resolved by informed group consciences (after a loving God is
called upon to express Himself), and are measured by what A.A. has long done
and approved.
c. See
Dick B. and Ken B., “Stick with the
Winners!” http//mcaf.ee/s50mq
Laughing
and Fun Go With the Territory
Someone needs to instruct today’s newcomers as to why the
expression “We are not a glum lot” is important to recovery; and why laughter,
smiles, humor, recreation, sports, movies, plays, music, camping, hiking,
rafting, and other pleasant group and individual pursuits are vital.
A
Solid Understanding of What Meetings Are For and Can Do
Newcomers need to be taught that their mentor or sponsor
will send them to, and will attend with them, quality talks, meetings, and
conferences. They need to be introduced to winners. They need speaker meetings
where the foregoing concepts are presented. They need Big Book studies which
are conducted by informed teachers, rather than being based on audience
reflections. They need to study Steps for which guides are provided. They need
to learn:
1. The
elements and Big Book suggestions involved in taking each Step;
2. The
Solution as defined on page 25 of the Big Book;
3. How to
sort out the mixture of “religious experience, spiritual experience, spiritual
awakening, God-consciousness, and ‘awareness.’” With respect to these, the
newcomer needs explanations of the Big Book, Steps, and A.A. history; and only the
content of a successful “experience” should be framed and passed along. See
Dick B. and Ken B., Pioneer Stories in Alcoholics
Anonymous. http://mcaf.ee/gj7iw
The topics suggested in this article may sound like a big order
for today’s mentors and sponsors. Meetings abound with welcomes for the
newcomer, with statements that he is the most important person in the room, and
with a stated primary purpose of helping the person who still suffers. All
true. Alcoholism and most addictions are life-and-death matters. But purposeless
and diversionary dating and “relationship” pursuits and problems, war stories,
drunkalogs, pointless discussion meetings, and ill-prepared Big Book, Step,
literature, Beginner, Bible, and speaker meetings, and literature, do not make
for success.
Getting
the “Message” Straight
Let’s be mentors or sponsors who are actually carrying an
accurate, historically correct, effective message to those who still suffer.
Bill’s “sponsor” Ebby Thacher was the first person to carry the message that
God can and will do for you what you could not do for yourself.
Holding
Orientation, Indoctrination, Information Beginners Talks or Meetings
Many a newcomer walks in the rooms of A.A. and learns little
or nothing about the program, its origins, its history, and the path the
newcomer should follow for recovery. The foregoing are points to make clear to
him.
For further information,
contact dickb@dickb.com; 808 874 4876
No comments:
Post a Comment